Love is a verb and it works best when your action speaks.
I can’t believe what you say because I see what you do.— -James Baldwin.
I love you is simple and easy to say. It is somewhat worthless without actions. Love is a verb, and it works best when our action speaks.
“My mom cooks special food for my cousins when they come to my house. She is so happy when she talks to them on the phone. My mom loves my cousins more” — Max. Max, a six-year-old boy, gossiping with his friends in the swimming pool’s locker room.
Does Max’s mother love her nephews more than her child, Max? What do you think?
Action speaks louder than word when we interact with our children and loved ones.
Love In Action, Listen.
Listen to understand. Pay attention to your child, and put yourself in her position. You don’t have to agree with your child or her attitude. Treat a conversation with your child as if you are talking with your CEO. When my children were young, I accepted telephone calls after 8.30 pm except in an emergency. My daughter jokes, “my mom doesn’t talk on the phone,” I do!
Love In Action, Care
Show interest and pay attention to your child’s interest. Celebrate your child’s effort and be happy for who he is and what he does. Work hard not to compare your him with others — -care. Also , avoid giving any special treatment to other children when your child is around. Max’s mother loves her son, but his son, Max, thought otherwise. Why? Young children see actions, not feelings.
Love In Action, Respect.
Treat your child as you would to a stranger on the road. Ask for her permission before you take things from her room. Yes, it is your house, your rules! We show our children how to treat us and others.
Take the time to introduce your child to a new family member, friends, and public figure. I once broke a protocol and introduced a State Governor to my young children. People around us were offended, but the VIP smiled and said, “OK.” My children were so proud of their mother doing the impossible and believed they were VIP too. Respect and value your children with your actions.
Look at your child in the eye when you talk to him and avoid distractions. Step aside and let him ask questions in the doctor’s office or a restaurant. And look at her as Mr. Pence looks at Mr. Trump during COVID-19 press conference. Please laugh, it’s a great example not politics.
Love In Action, Acceptance
Acceptance means you love your child, unconditionally. Stand by her even when she is wrong and in trouble. What if my child committed murder? Yes, no matter how repugnant the crime is, stand by your child. And provide emotional support. It doesn’t mean you condone her behavior or misconduct. It can be tough, but it cements love in action.
For example, in my high school, my school mate committed manslaughter, and the parents quickly hired a prominent lawyer to represent their son. It was one of a kind crime at that time. It is still a celebrated case study in Nigerian Law school. The community roared, but the parents’ message was clear — -love in action, acceptance.
When your child is in trouble, stand by him without saying much. Do the same to the people suffering because of your child’s mistake or failing.
Love In Action, Self-care
Love your child and put your self-care into action. Take care of and be kind to yourself. Let your children observe you engage in healthy eating, exercise frequently, and work on your small and big goals. Doing something for yourself sends a powerful love message to your children.
Remember — -
Our children remember what we do more than what we say.
Love is a verb, an action word. Go now and be mindful of your activities with your children and loved ones. Surprise them by taking great care of yourself. Be a better you for yourself, children, and society.
Help yourself grow
Thanks for reading!