No condition is permanent.
A bad day or season reveals our character and challenges our faith. It can also teach us life lessons such as empathy, compassion, humility, service, hope, and perseverance.
Zika lost her father early this year. She saw him last, 11 years ago. Not seeing her father for so long before he died took an emotional toll on Zika. Within a month after she lost her father, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Last month after cancer treatment, she lost her job on the first day she went back to work. Zika is the primary earner in her family and the one with health insurance benefits.
Zika didn’t seem to care about her family finances but continues reminiscing about not seeing her father before he died. She felt terrible for weeks.
You can agree, Zika had a lousy season.
Zika lamented as a human being about all of her problems. She was disappointed, angry for days, and then summoned up the courage to decide to make choices moving forward.
Bad attitude or be hopeful.
We all have a bad attitude when we are disappointed or failed at something. That makes us human beings. We show a strong emotion by expressing our feelings and thoughts through words and actions. However, what happens next is either you house a lousy attitude forever or be hopeful.
Zika asked for help, and she chose to be hopeful even with all her issues. Zika consoled herself that her family lived below their means and that she was alive and had health insurance, COBRA, to cover the long term cancer treatment. She took time off before she could accept a new position.
Meanwhile, she helped her spouse with his small business and assisted her son in preparing for a board examination.
Our problems and situations are different, but hope exists in all conditions.
How do you handle your bad day?
Victim or victor mentality
The victim mentality can rob you of your personhood and leaves you just surviving instead of thriving. So true, our experiences dictate who we are and, also correct, we can choose to define what we do to move forward from our negative background.
I lost my job many years ago, and I spent days thinking about what I did or didn’t do. Then I realized that it didn’t matter what I did or didn’t do, but what I did the next day that mattered. Then I changed my mindset from victim to victor, and I used what I had at that time and created a job for myself.
Zika looked into her family and created a job for herself. She helped her spouse run his business and coached her son for his board examination. It seemed she was learning new skills or relearning her soft skills while spending more time with her family.
Your situation is different. However, you can use what you have around you to create something small to change your current circumstance.
Blame game or look for a lesson.
The blame game perpetuates laziness and incompetence. We blame traffic, our parents, politicians, wind, rain, an alarm clock, a baby, and others.
The blame game is easy because it makes us feel good, it helps us nurse our pain, and it can comfort our shortcomings.
Also, there is always something to learn from your disappointment and failures. Pay attention and reflect on your life and look for lessons or a great experience from your pain. When I lost my job, the experience taught me humility and how to be a giver — giving without expectations.
We are humans; we prefer receiving than giving to others, especially giving to people who cannot return the favor. Use your current situation to help someone, for example, volunteer your time or skills in any way you can.
Look for the good!
Zika, for example, took responsibility for her inability to visit her father for 11 years. She did not spend months blaming cancer, her employer, or her family. She found something useful in her pain — -she is alive, has a healthy family, and has more time to help her family.
What question would you like to ask Zika? What is one lesson Zika’s experience teaches you? Leave your view below in the comment session.
Your situation is not like Zikas, but you can be hopeful, look for the good, and believe in yourself. Keep believing, working, and learning.
Help yourself grow
Thanks for reading.
Bassey is a lifestyle consultant and a recovery coach. She has two decades of experience in mental health and addiction recovery, holds NYS social work license, and currently in private practice. She enjoys organizing and writing.