What do you want from a friend? How much have you grown with your friend in two or five years?
The world-class advice goes if you want to be successful, walk with successful people. That is somewhat true. But how do you define success? We all describe our success differently. So, take the time to decide what success means to you. Then use your parameter of success to look for what you want from a friend.
A true friend can help you grow.
Allis’s good friend, Laura, is her cleaning person. She said, “Laura works with a smile on her face and takes care of my house better than I care for my children. She is open and proud of her job. She is a good friend.”
It seems Laura is proud of herself and her job, has the patience to produce superior service, and self-discipline to clean after her employer, Allis.
Look for a person who is proud of who she/he is and what she/he does. For example, Eno is honest in sharing her strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes. She is unapologetic in celebrating herself, her family/community, and her job. Also, she is humble to accommodate others with different values or lifestyles.
Eno is proud and yet asks for help. She gives anonymously to people in need — food, education, training, and jobs. Her pride embodies giving, humility, creativity, and compassion.
Pay attention to how a person values her/himself.
Patience is a virtue that drives our lives. Every good thing takes time and effort. For example, open your closet and pick out two pairs of pants from different brands. Turn each inside out. Do you notice the difference?
Or eat fast food and restaurant food. Did you experience the difference, and WHY? It takes time and effort to prepare food or make tailored trousers.
Do we treat waiters nicely and give them a generous tip? What happens when we get stuck in traffic? Or wait in the line for a cashier who is slow or being distracted by other customers?
Please pay attention to an acquaintance when she/he is waiting in the line or when she/he interacts with other drivers on a busy highway. Does he/she practice patience?
If you lack patience, look for someone with a ton of patience. I learned patience from a good friend and my daughter. Both women are master chess players, and the game requires patience to win.
How can you find a true friend? Pay attention to a person who worships self-discipline. It is an essential skill worth learning and implementing. A friend with this skill will help you improve your life.
Instant gratification is a new thing in town, and our new friend, Mika, declines to participate in it. She is an outlier and refuses to join the crowd. Mika believes in hard work, self-respect, and self-awareness. She is aware of her goals and purposefully blocks distractions — an open-door-policy, gossipers, TV, cell phone, and apps.
Mika grabs time and money management because it helps her meet her goals. She embraces and accepts NO and uses it to her advantage. She values life and people and schedules time to be with her family and friends.
Meet Shelly in a doctor’s office. Shelly works full-time and has two teen daughters. She arrived late to the doctor’s appointment and complained to no one in particular, “I watched Netflix until 5 am this morning, and I’m so tired.”
It feels so good watching Netflix for 3–12 hours, but long hours of enjoying Netflix is rarely productive.
Watch out for people who do things because they “feel like” it.
Friends can learn from each other. A true friend can change your life for the better.
Choose your friends wisely and look for three things:
Help yourself grow.